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How to Talk to Your Therapist: Getting the Most Out of Your Sessions

Talking to your therapist can feel intimidating, especially if you are new to therapy. You might not know where to start or how to open up. However, good communication helps you get the most out of your sessions. Therapy is a space for healing, growth, and support. By learning how to express yourself openly, you can make each session more effective.
Be Honest About Your Feelings
Honesty is one of the most important parts of therapy. Your therapist is there to support you, not judge you. If you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or unsure, say so. Hiding emotions can slow progress. The more open you are, the more helpful your counselor can be. Even if you don’t know how to describe your feelings, try. Saying, “I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel off,” is a great start.
Prepare Before Each Session
Before your therapy session, take a few minutes to reflect. Think about what has been on your mind. Did something trigger stress or anxiety? Are you feeling stuck in any way? Jot down a few notes if that helps. You don’t need a perfect script, just a rough idea of what you want to discuss. This preparation makes it easier to dive into meaningful conversations with your therapist.
Share Your Thoughts Without Filtering
Many people hesitate to say certain things in therapy. They worry about being judged or misunderstood. However, therapy is a safe place. Your counselor is trained to listen without judgment. If a thought crosses your mind during the session, share it. Even if it seems silly, small, or unrelated, it might hold valuable insight into your mental health.
Ask Questions
Therapy is not a one-sided conversation. It’s okay to ask questions. If you don’t understand something, speak up. Ask your therapist about their approach. If you are unsure how a technique helps, request an explanation. Learning more about the therapy process can help you feel more engaged in your sessions.
Express Any Concerns About Therapy
If something isn’t working for you, say so. Maybe you don’t connect with a particular method. Perhaps you feel like you are not making progress. That’s okay. Counselors want to know what helps and what doesn’t. Therapy is a partnership, and honest feedback allows your therapist to adjust their approach.
Discuss Your Goals
Therapy is more effective when you have clear goals. What do you want from counseling? It might be reducing anxiety, improving relationships, or processing trauma. If you’re unsure, talk to your therapist about it. Setting goals gives direction and helps measure progress. It also ensures you and your therapist are on the same page.
Talk About Your Daily Life
Your therapist doesn’t just need to hear about big events. Daily struggles and small wins matter, too. How you handle everyday stress, interactions, and emotions gives insight into your mental health. Bringing up even small challenges helps your counselor understand patterns in your thoughts and behaviors.
Open Up About Your Fears
Fear can be hard to talk about, but therapy is a great place to explore it. If you are scared of failing, losing control, or being vulnerable, share that. Therapists can help break fears down into manageable steps. Acknowledging fear is the first step to overcoming it.
Be Patient With Yourself
Therapy is a process. Progress isn’t always immediate. Some sessions may feel like breakthroughs, while others feel stagnant. That’s normal. Change takes time. Trust the process, and give yourself grace. Growth in mental health happens gradually, and consistency is key.

Use Therapy Techniques Outside of Sessions
Therapy doesn’t end when the session does. Apply what you learn in real life. If your therapist suggests journaling, deep breathing, or cognitive exercises, try them. These techniques can reinforce progress and improve your mental health between sessions.
Follow Up on Previous Discussions
In each session, try to revisit past topics. Did you try something your therapist suggested? How did it go? Do you have new thoughts on something you discussed before? This helps build on progress and ensures therapy is an ongoing conversation rather than isolated talks.
Address Any Discomfort
If you feel uneasy with your therapist, bring it up. Maybe a question felt intrusive, or a topic was too intense. Expressing discomfort allows your therapist to adjust their approach. Therapy should feel safe. Counselors appreciate feedback and want to ensure you are comfortable.
Don’t Worry About Saying the ‘Right’ Thing
There’s no right or wrong way to talk in therapy. Some days, you might ramble. Other days, you might struggle to say anything. That’s okay. Your therapist is there to help you make sense of your thoughts, no matter how scattered they seem.
Be Open to Different Approaches
Therapists use various methods, from cognitive-behavioral therapy to mindfulness techniques. Some approaches might feel unfamiliar at first. Give new strategies a chance before deciding they don’t work. Therapy often involves trial and error to find what suits you best.
Take Notes if Needed
If remembering discussions is hard, take notes. Jot down key points after a session. This can help track patterns and reflect on progress. Reviewing notes before your next session can also help you continue important conversations.
Let Yourself Feel Emotions
It’s okay to cry, laugh, or feel frustrated in therapy. Sessions can bring up strong emotions, and that’s a sign of deep work happening. Don’t hold back. Expressing feelings allows healing to take place. Your therapist is there to support you through it.
Remember That Therapy Is a Judgment-Free Zone
Many people hesitate to share thoughts because they fear being judged. However, therapists are trained professionals. They have likely heard it all. No matter what you say, you won’t shock them. Therapy is about understanding, not judgment.
Trust Your Gut
If something feels off, trust yourself. If you feel disconnected from your therapist, it’s okay to switch counselors. A good therapist-client relationship is essential for effective therapy. You deserve a space where you feel safe and supported.
Know That Progress Looks Different for Everyone
Growth in mental health doesn’t follow a straight path. Some people see fast changes, while others take longer. Celebrate small wins. Overcoming negative thought patterns, improving communication, or setting boundaries are all signs of progress. Therapy is about moving forward at your own pace.
Keep Showing Up
Sometimes, therapy feels hard. You might not feel like going to a session. However, showing up consistently is crucial. Even when you don’t have much to say, being present matters. Every session builds on the last, creating lasting change over time.
Conclusion
Talking to your therapist doesn’t have to be difficult. Honesty, preparation, and openness help you make the most of your sessions. Therapy is a space for support, growth, and healing. By communicating openly, setting goals, and trusting the process, you can get the most out of every session.

If you, or know of someone who could use some online counseling to feel heard and learn ways to cope, please connect with one of our therapists today for a free consultation.
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