Topic #8: What to do when you can’t do anything about it.
Probably considered to be one of THE most frustrating feelings out there… feeling “stuck”, your hands are tied. It (whatever the “it” circumstance is) is just not in your control anymore. You’ve done everything you can to help, fix, change, grow, start again and nothing seems to work…you are left hanging. You may feel like you are swimming in peanut butter. Completely, utterly, stuck. Whose control it is in now is determined by one or a combination of the following; your faith, spirituality, religion or belief system. Your morals and values system. What your family or friends say. Or, maybe it’s more pragmatic than that; maybe you chose to rely on past experience or logic. However, there are some that may have an easier time allowing themselves to just let go. We’ve all heard that phrase a few times…”just let it go.” What happens when we let go…does it make “it” better? Should we let “it”go? Or better yet, can we really let “it” go? A million questions may swarm your mind, only to find yourself back at the place you started. Stuck.
There are many opinions out there about what is the best thing to do when you are stuck and find yourself without the answers in that moment. What I’ve learned (both personally and professionally) is that people have their own answers, they just might not yet know them, nor do they truly understand the path they are to take and why they are on that path to begin with. At least not in that moment. There is always choice, even when we feel we are left without. We may not be able do anything about “it” but we can always decide how we want to think about feeling stuck. Maybe being stuck is a good thing. It traps us into focusing on the now without controlling the future. It stops us from trying so hard to make other things happen, if in fact they are not meant to happen. Maybe being stuck allows us to reorganize, regroup, and create a plan B or C for backup. Maybe being stuck isn’t all bad? We, as a society, assign negativity to certain words and situations, feeling “stuck” is a nasty word. It means we are not moving. If we can’t move, we are not in control of ourselves and our future outcomes. We don’t like it when we feel out of control. Anxiety and irritability increase, causing a negative feedback loop that confirms, “Yes, I am indeed stuck. This is bad. I am bad.” What would happen if we all assigned a positive to the word “stuck”? How would our outlook, and possibly our outcomes, change?
I’m interested in hearing your ideas, feelings or experiences that may enlighten others in our community.
