Where are you headed?
by, Lisa Herman, PsyD, LP
It’s that time of year again when the summertime trips to the beach, family BBQ’s and the joys of unstructured chaos slowly wind down and the gentle transition to fall is coming up. This time of year can bring a mixture of emotions for so many of us.
The kids are getting ready to go back to school or off to college, daylight gets a little shorter, cooler temps are approaching (which many enjoy!), and the schedule of the daily grind is back in full swing. One question you might ask yourself in the midst of this transition is, “Where am I headed?”
Maybe you’ve thought about this already or maybe you will in a month from now. These thoughts might not come to you so dramatically; maybe they tickle your funny bone for just for a brief moment as you start to see the back to school supplies in the stores or you finally start to think about your upcoming holiday plans as you look ahead at your work PTO schedule. The question of “Where are you headed?” could just be like a constant dull noise in the background.
This is the point where I hear my father saying, “What do you mean where am I headed? I’m going to eat!” or to bed or to whatever is the exact next thing he’s headed to do. Sometimes, our next move is pragmatically going to be the next one right in front of us.
For others, it’s more existential; focusing on where one is headed is more emotional and/or spiritual.
What most therapists can attest to is that whether your personality is pragmatic or existential – where we are headed is an ever evolving journey. It’s helpful to understand a few things about your life so that you can improve the path of which is leading you on your journey:
- Your Past. Therapy can help you better understand where you came from and how you got here in the first place. If we want to improve who we are today and tomorrow, it’s important to understand the choices, thoughts, and feelings that got us to this point. You don’t always need to lie on a couch and analyze your dreams, but you might want to take a look into your family, your childhood experiences and past relationships to learn about all that makes up you.
- Your current. Where you are today can help you better understand your strengths (and your areas of improvement) that will enable you to make choices that are more aligned with your needs, thoughts, desires, morals, values, and feelings as you head into tomorrow.
- Your coping style. How have you and currently how do you cope with life? Do you avoid? Fix? Turn to yoga or meditation or turn to alcohol or food? Learning new ways to cope with what life throws at us (both the good and the difficult parts of life) will allow you to manage your emotions in a healthier way.
- Your relationship style. We are relational creatures. We travel in packs (aka: families, peer groups) and how we relate to one another feeds into how we view ourselves. Social and emotional intelligence is arguably a better predictor of success in life than IQ, grades or test scores. Therapy allows you to explore and process your relationship style and gain new insights that will help improve communication, empathy, and emotional IQ.
What most therapists can attest to is that whether you’re pragmatic or existential – where we are headed is an ever evolving journey.
Synergy eTherapists are her to help you figure out not only where you are headed, but also how to travel on your journey with grace.
Check out the Synergy eTherapists and read their bios. Sign up for your FREE consultation today to learn more about whether etherapy is a good fit for you, your kids, or your family. All of our therapists are highly experienced with years of practice in their field. Our friendly and personable therapists will enable you to move forward in a positive and healthy way, guiding you on your way to wellness.